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Networking Faux Pas


Photo of Ivan Misner Ivan Misner, Guest Author

Think you're a good networker? Make sure you're not making 1 of these 3 big blunders.

After two decades of running the world's largest networking organization, I've certainly seen a lot of networking faux pas. I've put together a few of the most glaring blunders in networking etiquette I've seen over the years that you should avoid.

Faux Pas #1: Not responding quickly to referral partners. This one really troubles me. I can't imagine getting a call from a networking partner and not responding immediately, but unfortunately, this seems to happen with some regularity. Not long ago, someone I know had a referral to give a gentleman in his networking group. He called the associate and left a message athis office assoon as he knew the referral was viable. A day went by without a return call, sohe called again, saying it was important to connect.

He was finally able to speak to his networking associate at their next meeting. He asked him why he didn't return his call and the associate said, "If I knew you had a referral for me, I would've called you back immediately." He still gave the referral at the meeting, and, to no one's surprise, the person referred ended up working with another vendor because no one got back to him in a timely manner.

Treating each of your networking partners as one of your best clients is critical. Return phone calls fromthem immediately, as it speaks to your credibility and reliability as a professional.

There are countless examples of people receiving referrals at networking groups and then contacting the referral a few days later. The old phrase, "If you snooze, you lose," is apropos here. If the referral knows you had her name and number on Monday and took your time calling, that sends a negative message about your business.

Faux Pas #2: Confusing networking with direct selling. One of my company's directors struck up a conversation with a woman business owner at a networking function. When the business owner asked our director what she did, she said she helps owners build their businesses through networking and referrals. The business owner smiled and said, "I'm really good at networking. I've been doing it for a long, long time."

Curious, our director asked her, "So what's your secret?" She stood up straight and said, "Well, a friend and I enter a room together. We imagine drawing a line down the middle. She takes the left side; I take the right side. We agree to meet at a certain time to see who collected the most cards. The loser buys the other one lunch."

The director curiously inquired, "So what do you do with all those cards?" Again, proudly, the business owner said, "I enter them into my distribution list and begin to send them information about my services. Since I have all their information, they're all good prospects, right?"

This is a classic example of an entrepreneur not understanding that networking isn't about simply gathering contact information and following up on it later. That's nothing more than glorified cold calling. It gives me the chills. I used to teach cold calling techniques to business people. And I did it enough to know that I didn't want to ever do it again. I've devoted my entire professional life to teaching the business community that there's a better way to build long-term business.

Faux Pas #3: Abusing the relationship. There are many ways I've seen networking partners abuse relationships, but the following story is one of the most glaring examples.

A woman I know was invited to attend a 50th birthday party of an associate who used to belong to a networking group in which she also participated. They once had a long-term working relationship, and, out of respect, she decided to attend. When she got to the door, she looked through the window and noticed people were arranged in a semicircle, listening to a presenter in front of an easel board. When she stepped in, it was very obvious the partygoers were being recruited for a business opportunity. As resentful as the woman felt, she and other mutual friends found it difficult to remove themselves from the "birthday party," despite the fact that the only refreshment being served was the company's diet shake!

Never mislead your networking partners. For that matter, never mislead anyone. Trust is everything when you're talking about relationship networking. Inviting people to a "birthday party" that turns out to be a business opportunity pitch isn't being honest with the very people with whom you want to build a trusting relationship.

All these faux pas directly relate to good people skills. The prevailing theme of all three is to treat your referral partners and potential referral partners with professionalism and care. Use networking opportunities to meet people and begin the process of developing a genuine relationship and treat your referral partner like you would a top client.

Lastly, always network in a way that builds credibility and trust - be candid in telling your referral partners what you need and what you're asking of them. Do these things and you'll avoid some serious mistakes in relationship networking.

Copyright © - Ivan Misner - Reprinted with permission. Called the father of modern networking, Dr. Ivan Misner is the Founder of BNI and the senior partner for the Referral Institute. He has written nine books, including his recently released New York Times best seller, Truth or Delusion? Busting Networking's Biggest Myths.

Click on a book title link to place an order

Truth or Delusion?: Busting Networking's Biggest Myths - Ivan R. Misner - Many books teach the "who, what, where, why & how" of professional networking. Truth or Delusion separates the reality from the fantasy by presenting Truths and Delusions about networking and then shows why they are either real or fakes. For example: Delusion: The best way to ensure referral success is to treat your referral sources by the "Golden Rule." Treat them the way you would want to be treated. Truth: The best way is to treat your referral sources the way THEY want to be treated. The referral process is more about emotion than facts. Find out how your referral sources want to be treated and how they would like you to treat their referrals.

Larry's Review: Coming Soon!
Truth or Delusion?: Busting Networking's Biggest Myths

Power Networking: 59 Secrets for Personal & Professional Success Power Networking: 59 Secrets for Personal & Professional Success - Donna Fisher & Sandy Vilas - Packed with 59 proven networking methods for achieving success in all areas of your life, this inspiring book helps you to discover key networking skills to show you how to make the requests that get the results you want.

Larry's Review: The importance of making important business connections cannot be understated. Donna offers sound advice and encourages you to give up your shyness and offer to assist others as you build a network of support; one that increases your visibility, expands your network and marks you as someone who is willing to do whatever it takes to succeed.

The Essential Network: Success Through Personal Connections - John L. Bennett - This book is about establishing, maintaining, and reaping the benefits of connections. It incorporates many personal stories to illustrate the productive results that can occur from building connections. These include people who have found life-partners, avoided personal and financial disasters, made career changes, built businesses, and met famous people.

Larry's Review: The principles of business networking in an easy-read and understandable format. Highly recommended!
Essential Network

The Networking Guy's Top 50 Tips The Networking Guy's Top 50 Tips: A Simple Guide to Networking Success - Dave Sherman - These 50 success-proven tips will change forever the way you do things, bringing power and purpose to those brief encounters that once were meaningless and unproductive. Easy to understand and simple to apply, they will show you precisely what it takes to become a comfortable and effective networker in all situations - and with all persons - you encounter.

Larry's Review: I love this book! A quick-read, no nonsense book with everything you need to know about being a successful networker! Read it and reap! Highly recommended!

  If you would like to talk one-on-one with Larry James about relationship issues related to this article, you are invited to arrange for a private coaching session by telephone. Go to Networking Coaching for specific details.

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